Alf Neuman
Trelawny, Jamaica
What have you been doing the last few years?
I'm a retired Kamikaze pilot and completed 13 missions. I flew for the great nation of South Africa during their conflict with Provostan. Due to circumstances that I would rather not discuss, I had to leave South Africa rather quickly.
My wife, Gerd, and son Yawnie accompanied me to Jamaica where we purchased a nice little shack on the beach. Our daughers, April, Mae and June joined us about six months later.
Most of my days are pretty laid back drinking Cuban beer and avoiding Great White sharks that seem to hang around our beach. Our son Yawnie went on a vacation to Syria a couple of years ago and we haven't heard from him since. Our daughter April is getting married to an ex-Marine named Sid Shower next spring.
I do a bit of part-time consulting work with friends from Cuba. We get together with other friends from Russia quite often but I don't want to talk about that.
Have you been on any trips? (trips to the Doctor don't count)
Yes, I've been to Cuba 37 times in the last two years and Moscow 27 times. I wanted to visit a friend in Brigham City
a few months ago but the FBI indicated that if I ever set foot on U.S. soil I would be immediately arrested. I can't imagine what that's all about.
My wife Gerd visits friends in South Africa several times a year but she travels with a "Special" passport that may contain a different name.
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Any messages for your classmates?
Well, I enjoyed most of my time at Box Elder even though I was expelled my last year due to a "misunderstanding"
about some sliced tires on Ed Payne's and Rolund Gurley's cars. Hiding out behind the Seminary building to smoke
with my buddies was pretty cool until we got caught by the Seminary teacher. We then moved behind the shop building because the teachers thought all of the smoke was coming from the welder.
todo es una broma